thoughts on public relations, marketing and a charmed life

Video scares me

When I embarked on my YouTube journey, a lot of the process involved me starting at a camera and freaking out about publishing my full-motion face on the internet. I never actually pressed the record button. I just looked at the device, and wondered what the hell I was thinking. Then I’d leave and go watch TV.

Then, I’d spiral ever downward in my thinking, wondering why my fear was stopping me from doing anything, what the basis of that fear was. And is. Because even after shooting several videos and a whole pile of b-roll, I’m still worried. And here’s why…

I’ve never been shy about putting myself out there. I’ve blogged much of my adult life, I’m active on all manner of social media, and I co-host a podcast. I’ve made a few TV appearances promoting the things I’ve worked on, and it’s never bothered me. But actually sitting down in front of a camera and creating your own thing is terrifying. And it’s not because I’m worried I have something on my face, or that people will think I’m fat or ugly; it’s because what I’m trying to do is some semblance of comedy. And comedy is really, really hard.

And the risk of putting yourself out there, branding something as “comedy,” and then falling absolutely flat is massive, especially if you’re unpracticed, like I am. I worry about it every time I turn on the camera. And I know that not everyone is going to like the things I say and do — I know those nasty YouTube comments are coming.

But I still dread them.

But I’m still making videos.

And that’s really the point. For me, this is going to be a gradual learning experience. For better or worse, my audience gets to come along for the ride. So there are going to be ups and downs, and there are going to be days when I’m decidedly unfunny. Let’s call those week days.

But I’m still.

Making.

Videos.

Because although you might think it’s a ridiculous fear I have, it’s real. And I’m really, really trying to ignore it and create something that we can both enjoy together.